Sometimes we all wish we could go back.

Sometimes we all wish we could go back to a specific time, place, person or state of mind. This post was written in one of those moments. I wanted to go back to what seemed like a happy time in the middle of a very lonely week.

This post originally contained photos of all of us at Grad together. Since I haven’t asked the other girls for permission to post those photos, they are not included here. Think smiling happy teenagers in blue grad gowns grasping hats and book prizes. Think matching prom dates and quotes in year books. With the happy faces in the photos, one can imagine how we felt that time in our lives was happy even for a fleeting moment. After the first couple months of university and after I lost touch with these girls, I didn’t want to go back. Since graduating high school, since Bond even, I have grown so much as a person and the person I am now would not survive back then.

 

A couple months back while I was working retail as a second job, Linka was hired on as a Christmas casual. We got to catch up for a short while and see what her and Tasha had been up to since we all lost touch. Turns out the wind has taken us so many places and directions. None of us long to go back to who we were and all the things we put up with then. And you know what, that’s ok.

That’s ok.

“this is when i want to go back to this…i want to go back to being with the three of you everyday. i want to scream and laugh and slam lockers and… i don’t want to wear the uniform but i want to be with you guys…i want to go back and redo things and make things right…i want to try again, and play field hockey (i almost misspelt field as a joke). i want this. the preoccupations with what we had in front of us, too busy to look at the long run, too busy to see time fly by, or the camera capturing our youth…capturing all our foolishness. i want to go back to that night on the beach where we sat and ate pizza and cookies, and Via did my hair, and we took the picture sitting by the log and… i miss our talks and our laughs and all those moments that i don’t have right now…i miss us. there i said it. i miss you guys for everything that we did together and all that you are. k. i’m signing off now.

love you all. miss you all.

ari”

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